Friday, March 30, 2012

Mind over matter





I found this photo on 9gag (where else?) and just feel like it would be nice to post it here.

For no particular reason, actually, other than perhaps to disagree with the original title from 9gag, which is: Love is blind.

I don't believe that the guy in the photo is blind. Nor blinded, for that matter.

Instead, I'd like to think the guy loves the girl enough, that visuals cease to matter anymore. Wouldn't that be nicer?

Because while outer appearance may easily changes and fades, who you truly are inside usually won't. And if you're aiming big and gunning for the long run, always go inner.

And then again, who needs to see anything at all when you can distinctly feel boobs pressing firmly against your forehead?  :p

Thursday, March 29, 2012

*d'oh!*


I just reconfirmed why I dislike writing multiply blog post using my berry.

It's doable, sure. Fully functional, even, although somewhat limited. Such as the fact that you can't edit a post, even in its draft state. And also, there's no option to allow access for select individuals only. But that's no biggie, since you can still write whatever sensitive info or secrets you want, save it as a draft, and wait until you're in front of a PC to toggle with the access before publishing it officially.

And to all fanboys out there, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that a mac is still a computer. And when you use it in a personal context, then it's a PC. Simple logic. 

Anyway, problem is, sometimes when you are writing and you haven't quite truly finished it, you take a break first and don't want to save it as yet, because then you can't amend or change it until you're in front of a PC.

Then you want to delete something, but without you realizing, your pointer accidentally veered out of the writing area-box thingy.

And then you press backspace/del.

Bye-bye.

Blog post go down the hooooole...  *this is to be read using tiny toon plucky's tone*

So you curse yourself, and the stray cursor, and multiply, and the berry, and who/whatever else are lucky enough to be graced with your curse in the immediate vicinity.

Then you cool down, take a deep breath, and rack your brain for its photoshopic memory.

After which, you go on and write something else altogether.

What the duck?!





Interracial relationship is mostly tolerable in our civilization.

A for inter-species, not so much. Even with the full consent of all participating parties.

So to all animal lovers out there, here's a friendly reminder: your habit is not permissible under the law. Just stick with fellow humans. You have been warned.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Essentially...


The past few days were really, truly hot. Seriously. And by hot, I mean it felt almost like a you're on a tropical beach, playing under the sun, but there's no scantily clad babes around.

So yeah, it kinda sucked.

And while in an altogether different scenario the combo of hot and sucked might actually be a great thing indeed, these past three days certainly ain't it.

The heat makes one wish for rain.

For water, the essence of life.

And for such high esteem to be given to the liquid is not without solid reasons.

I'm sure you've been taught or at least heard from somewhere that about 70% of the average human body is pretty much water. Which perhaps explains how some of us can move so fluidly, while others get to be so jiggly with it.

Anyhow, it's simple logic that if 70% of you is water, then by God, water has got to be bleeding important for you, right? If that ever runs out, you're pretty much screwed.

Such is water's importance in our lives, and since He designed it to be that way, our Creator is kind enough to set up a system in which the availability of water can be guaranteed. *Whoa, the plot just took a wild turn! I bet you weren't expecting this now, were you? :p

It's called the water cycle, a system which is a true beauty in its simplicity.

To start with, you have evaporation/transpiration, a process which basically converts water in the earth's surface into water vapors in the air.

Then all those rogue water vapors will huggle up and get cozy and form water droplets in rain clouds through a process called condensation.

To complete the cycle, then we have the precipitation process, or to put simply, rain, which returns water into the earth's surface, providing us living things with sustenance.

Now when the cycle runs along its course smoothly, all is well in this world, barring other shits happening and hitting the fan, of course.

But say the precipitation part got...hindered for some reason or another, and the rain is not coming, while the sun keeps at it and continues to evaporate water up and away from the earth. Well then, sooner or later, there won't be anymore water left for the earth to give now, would it?

So in the end, it all comes down to give and take. And as noble as one might intend to be, you can't keep on giving without taking some in return. Else, the water will simply run dry.

And now that you think of it, a lot like love, this water business is.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Life lessons, an ongoing series



This past couple of months have taught me some things.

The first is that sometimes, no matter how bad you wanted something and worked your ass to get it, if it’s not meant to be yours, you'll probably ain’t getting none of it.

The second is that sometimes, that same thing that you’ve wanted so badly landed itself in the lap of someone who doesn’t even want is half as much as you. 

You see, I’ve been angling for this particular job for the past 3 months or so, ever since I’ve found out that there’s an opening. At first, I did everything splendidly and I gave it my best shot, from the initial interview, take home test, follow ups, all the works; and everything went smoothly and progressed along nicely.

And then somehow the HR Department in my current company got wind of it, and things started unraveling. It took all of my focus and efforts to avoid a tragic conclusion, but it was all worth it and seems to work thus far…

Then the universe decided to spice things up, and the HR from the company I’m zeroing in also found out about my situation. And so I’m deemed too risky and the HR decided to play it safe by offering the job to another candidate, someone who’s just going along with the flow, doesn’t seem to be into it with all his heart and soul, and puts in just enough effort to stay in contention.

And it’s been a crazy roller coaster ride for me ever since, with the two of us vying for the HR’s interest. Well, not so much him than me, actually. I’m basically whoring myself, while my competitor plays the aloof yet perhaps interested card, a very smart move indeed. I fully realize that my wholesale positioning carries the risk of lessening my appeal, but when you want and need something so bad, you’ll take risks, and beggars can’t be choosers.

Of course, it doesn’t help that the other candidate happens to be my own friend. That pretty much closes the option of me being mean and sabotaging him. And more or less leaves me relying on persistence and hope.

Oh well, I guess may the best man wins…

By the way, this whole piece was written with Friends With Benefits running in the background, and it was reaching its end just as I was finishing this.

So, anybody up for a game of tennis?

No worries...




Shit happens. Deal with it. Keep your cool.



Monday, March 12, 2012

To hell with diet, let's just have wild sex!


Believe it or not, sex (when done properly) is the best way to lose a few pounds. It burns crazy amount of calories, not to mention putting your whole body through a broad range of movements, exercising all parts equally. It's a great cardiovascular exercise, it trains endurance and stamina, keeps your joints powerful and your body limber, builds up your strength (try carrying the weight of your partner throughout a session, even if that session lasted less than 5 minutes), and last but not least, it's fun and enjoyable (even addictive)!

Anyway, I basically ripped and translated this article (back to English) from the June 2004 edition of SOAP, which I'm damn sure must've ripped and translated it (to Indonesian) from a foreign publication, I forget which exactly, but I'm really positive I've read it before.

Still, I feel compelled to add this bit of advice: Be safe and responsible, rubberized yourself. And with that said, here goes...

TAKING OFF THE CLOTHES
With her consent....................................................12 cal
Without her consent..............................................187 cal

TAKING OFF HER BRA
Using 2 hands..........................................................8 cal
Using 1 hand..........................................................12 cal
Using your mouth....................................................85 cal

PUTTING ON THE CONDOM
During erection.........................................................6 cal
Before erection.....................................................315 cal

FOREPLAY
Searching for her clitoris...........................................8 cal
Searching for her G-Spot.........................................92 cal

POSITIONS
Missionary...............................................................2 cal
69 horizontal............................................................8 cal
69 vertical............................................................112 cal
Trolley.................................................................216 cal
Doggy..................................................................326 cal
Italian chandelier...................................................912 cal

ORGASM
For real................................................................112 cal
Faking it..............................................................315 cal

POST ORGASM
Staying in bed........................................................18 cal
Jumping off the bed................................................36 cal
Finding out why she's jumping off the bed...............816 cal

GETTING THE SECOND ERECTION
16-19 years old......................................................12 cal
20-29 years old......................................................36 cal
30-39 years old....................................................108 cal
40-49 years old....................................................324 cal
50-59 years old....................................................972 cal
60-69 years old.................................................2.916 cal
70 years old and above.........................still undetermined

PUTTING ON THE CLOTHES
In your own relaxed pace.......................................32 cal
In a hurry.............................................................98 cal
With her husband knocking at the door................1218 cal
With your wife banging at the door......................3521 cal

Remember, boys and girls - Practice makes perfect. So why are you still here reading this? Go get some practice!

Distance = Speed x Time



I'm feeling somewhat mellow tonight.

Kinda hard to explain why, most probably 'coz it's just that time of the month. Or perhaps year. When all the celestial objects align themselves in that certain way and start pulling my mood this way and that.

And then again, I may be bullshitting my way through here.

Anyway, fitting my mood, I'm gonna talk -- well, write actually -- about the 2 opposing schools of belief in regards of separation. And no, I'm not talking about divorce or break up or anything heavy like that. Nope, the separation I meant here is more to the LDR kind.

Well, maybe I should've just said that this post is, in fact, about LDR. But again, then this will be a much shorter post, and that wouldn't do, right?

So, back to the topic, there are 2 schools of thought regarding separation.

The first believes that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". This opinion is mainly supported by the romantics, who believe that if you don't see your loved one for an extended period of time, the love between the two of you will keep growing, and growing, and growing, until it will finally burst out in a climactic moment when you two finally do get to meet.

The other school is the proponent of "out of sight, out of mind". The realists usually preach this, and this belief is not without its own merits, frankly. Logically speaking, when two persons are separated by a sizable distance and couldn't fully keep track of what the other is up to, well then, that leaves lots and lots of openings for things to go awry, doesn't it? Especially so if the separation we're talking about happened for an extended period of time.

Me? I'm a Gemini, so I get to be a bit of both.

While I agree that not seeing your loved one for a long time will indeed let something grow, I'm a bit skeptical if that something will be love. Yearnings, perhaps. Lust, very probable too. But in regards to love, I believe that it takes lots of nurturing to grow, physical contacts being one of the essential components to achieve that. A need that calling and skyping just can't fill. And I actually believe that a simple hug, when done properly and earnestly, can convey feelings that will go a long long way, perhaps even further than sex. 

Call me weird, but I'll stand my ground. 'Coz this came from firsthand experience.

Oh, and yes, I believe that distance and lack of supervision will make one susceptible to...errors. We're only human after all. In absence of one, we may unintentionally seek the warmth of a physical companion, especially in times of weakness and when lacking sobriety.

Well, that's my take, anyways.

You are, of course, fully entitled to yours.