Of ass and men...

It is often said that one of the first thing that draw a man's eyesight on a woman is her boobs. And however hard we try to resist and be civilized, it is unavoidable that we will look, or at the very least steal a glance, even if the face above them is below the universal average. Seriously, we just can't help it.

On the other side of the equation, woman's eyes are said to be drawn first towards a man's rear end. Perhaps because checking the package in front is a bit too rude, or just plain harder to do without getting caught at it.

But of course, to every norms, there are exceptions.

There are lots of asscentric guys out there, and Sir Mix-a-lot's Baby Got Back sort of made that official. After all, lyrics like: "I like big butt and I can not lie" are pretty darn straightforward, don't you think?

As for myself, I appreciate a curvy female ass as well as any guys out there, but deep down, I'm more of a leg man. To catch my attention, firm shapely legs that go up and up is the surefire hook. A complete package on the upper torso would be the line. And the sinker? Well, as cliché as it may sound, it will be personality.

And although I'll put my money on the majority of us eagerly agreeing about the merits of getting physical and it's positive impact in a relationship, I do believe that in the end, it's the connectedness that makes us stay.

While it's true that we're only humans after all, I'd like to think that in general, we're not that shallow.

Or are we..?

Still, as long as there remain those of us who put importance in pillow talks and cuddles, all hope is not lost...

Saving Private Gadget

A few months back while I was still using a berry, I've managed to successfully soak it in water, through and through. The poor thing was practically submerged in water and when I opened the battery case, everything inside was wet.

So I quickly took some precaution -- or perhaps the more accurate term should be postcaution -- by switching it off as fast as I can, dismantling everything that isn't screwed on, and being very extravagant in my use of tissue paper.

To Mother Nature, I'm really sorry to be indirectly participating in natural forest destruction, but truly, it was an emergency, and hopefully for that one time only.

When I got home, I buried my berry in rice grains and waited until morning, praying all my postcaution efforts would pay off.

This morning, I reassembled my berry back together and switched on the power, and everything seems to be normal until now. Still holding my breath though.

So here's some steps you might find useful to 'save' your gadget in the unlucky event involving it being drenched in water for whatever reasons:

• Get it away from the water ASAP. Don't bother with the niceties or proper etiquettes. Dunk your hand into the cocktail bowl and retrieve your gadget if you have to. People will understand. And replacing ruined cocktail is usually cheaper than replacing your gadget.

• Switch it off immediately. No finishing of your call or sext, or twitting about it first. Find that power button and give it a firm squeeze to show that you mean business. If it refuses to shut down even after mashing the power button, remove the battery straightaway.

• Dismantle everything that's not screwed on from your gadget. The list usually include but not limited to: back cover, battery, memory card(s) and sim card(s). There's absolutely no need to peel off the screen-guard though.

• Jerk-shake your gadget vigorously until no visible liquid drips from it anymore. Be sure to have a firm grip on your gadget. You wouldn't want to have it slipped away from your hand and meet the wall or floor or cocktail remains with the force that will surely cause damage to it and rendering this whole tutorial futile.

• Use plenty of tissue papers to absorb away whatever remaining liquid that still sticks to your gadget. Create tissue-drills (you should know what I mean) to reach those hard to reach nooks and crannies.

• Air your gadget. Fan will work. Air conditioner is even better because it has a drying effect, just make sure its dehumidifier is still working properly or you'll end up blowing more moisture into your gadget. You might be tempted to use hand/hair drier on your gadget to expedite the drying process, but I would advice against it because the heat might damage some sensitive parts in your gadget instead.

• Bury your gadget for a few hours in rice grains. The grains act as dessicant to pull and absorb moisture away from your gadget. While finer grains like silica pellets or talcum powders act as a better moisture absorbent, their micro size make it possible for them to be trapped inside the inner parts of your gadget and interfere with its functions. And make sure to bury the gadget screen up (battery side down) to minimize the risk of getting unwanted grains stuck inside your gadget. You can also bury your battery along with the gadget to be extra sure, but not connected together. I buried my battery next to my berry last night, and when I switched it on this morning, everything was ok.

• Say a little prayer to whoever Higher Power you believe before reassembling your gadget and switching it back on. It won't hurt anyways.

PS - Time is crucial. And also, the above would most probably not work if the liquid you're dealing with is somewhat thick or particularly sugary.

PPS - Good luck.

Lord, I thank Thee...

Ever felt that you probably don't deserve all the good fortunes coming your way? Well, I sometimes do. Like just recently, I kept expecting all these goodies will vanish into thin air, and then I will be awaken in a much unfriendlier circumstances, but so far, things are going well and smooth with no signs of all these being just a dream.

Of course, I'm not hoping for things to blow up in my face, or to jinx myself for that matter.

Far from that.

It's just that I seriously doubt that I did enough good deeds to receive all these blessings. And although I am very thankful and grateful, I have to admit that I haven't been expressing them nearly often enough. At least not according to my religion's standard.

It's obvious that I'm not a model practitioner of my religion. I very rarely pray 5 times a day, I haven't exactly been trying my hardest to avoid temptations, and even if I have been, often times that's not nearly enough to steer clear of trouble.

So here I am, feeling extremely blessed, yet somewhat ashamed to others that had done much better in making their life useful according to the Creator's will, but didn't fare quite as...lucky..?

Well... Isn't this a weird turn of mood on a Friday night.

Enough reflecting, let's go club-hopping!

*sniffles*

I was browsing through 9gag when I found this:

As I was reading through it, a group of ninjas started peeling onions around me, and kicking up sand and dust all around, irritating my eyes and nose.

Darn stupid ninjas.  *sniffles*

Butterflies...

Curious things, those butterflies are.

They come in various size and colors, from nondescript dull to breathtakingly beautiful.

And they can be found in such varied environments too, from the wide open fields, to the small enclosed spaces that are our stomachs.

I'm sure we've all felt it at some point or other in our lives. Usually preceding moments of great happenings. When we are nervous or anxious. When the heart is pumping like mad and sending the adrenaline rushing through our blood vessels at an alarming rate. When we're not sure whether what's gonna happen next is gonna be greatly glorious or hugely disastrous.

An easy to relate example would be during the final interview of a job you really, really want. Or perhaps during the first real date with someone you've set your eyes on for the longest time. Whatever the situation, the butterflies are sure to flutter when the outcome is either win big or go broke.

Well, as high school as it seems to be nervous for something rather frivolous like your first date, at least it's proof that we're still alive. That we can still feel something and haven't gone completely numb or zombified.

And that's a beautiful thing, right?

Spam! (No, not the canned meat)

Earlier today, I was scrolling through my spam box, which is basically full of offers from people who make expensive watches replicas, people who make the best cigars, people who want me to gamble with them, people who want me to lose weight, canadians who want to sell me drugs, people who want me to date other people, people who have pre-approved my platinum credit card, people who can make it easier for me to get laid tonight, and of course, people who think I should grow my manhood even bigger.

Well, obviously they haven't seen mine then.

But that aside, some of the e-mails subject are so downright...warped, it's actually entertaining.

Let me give you an example from "Penis Growth Free trials", who sent me an e-mail with the subject of "Butts that looks awesome". Now, I'm not even sure of where they are going with this and what they are trying to tell me here, but if my assumption were true, no offense dude, I just don't roll that way. But then again, maybe it's just that the word "butt" somehow rubs me the wrong way as compared to "ass".  :p

Another interesting e-mail came from "Free trials Men's Supplement", whose subject is "Scare people with your tool today". And I think those guys are totally missing the point here. By a few galaxies. I mean, the whole general idea is to attract women, right? So why in the name of all that is holy should I want to scare them? 'Coz I've noticed people have this tendency to go in the opposite direction and away from what is scary, which generally repels rather than attracts. So if the huge idea from the guys behind the e-mail is for me to go hand solo, then I shall pass, and even Gandalf himself won't be able to stop me.

As parting words, to the people who empty their spam box without checking its contents, let me say: don't. At least check it first, 'coz it may still be good for a few laughs.  :D

B-b-b-tits!

An interesting topic popped out while I was ym-ing.

Boobs.

Most guys are fascinated with them. Captivated. Enthralled. Obsessed, even.

And why is that, you might ask?

The answer is pretty simple and apparent, actually. 'Coz we don't have them. And that's a very human reason indeed, to want and obsess over things one does not -- and perhaps cannot -- have.

And so guys are attracted to boobs like moths to open flame. And pretty much any boobs will do, really. All shapes and sizes have their own fan-base. Just as long as they are in their prime state and relatively youthful. I mean, let's be honest here, age and gravity aren't very kind to boobs, and only a generous sum of money has any fighting chance against their effects.

Oh, and them boobs better be female. Man boobs don't count, and are automatically disqualified due to the basic reason that men aren't supposed to have boobs. Things that we have are by rule deemed not attractive and not worth pursuing anymore. With the exception of power, money and women, of course.

Back to the topics at hand -- or at least there's where we all wish them to be -- that's why we came out with so many boobs-related activities and thingies. Like Hooters, for one. And wet t-shirt contests. And trading beads for flashing. And silicone implants. And w*nderbras, especially G*d's Hand. And lots of other things I better leave out lest I implicate myself unfavorably later.

Funny thing is, guys aren't the only ones obsessed with boobs. Maybe we have successfully shared our collective fascination towards boobs to the whole civilization. Or perhaps women are just wired with such a strong sense of competition to come out with boob-envy on their own. Whatever it is, we're definitely enjoying the show...  B-)

So here's to boobs and the freedom to flaunt 'em. Be that by wearing bra with showcasing features, or even going in the opposite direction by being braless. And fear not girls, us guys will all be on hand to provide any support that the missing bra left off.  ;)

Gotta catch 'em all!