Monday, May 21, 2012

B-b-b-tits!


An interesting topic popped out while I was ym-ing.

Boobs.

Most guys are fascinated with them. Captivated. Enthralled. Obsessed, even.

And why is that, you might ask?

The answer is pretty simple and apparent, actually. 'Coz we don't have them. And that's a very human reason indeed, to want and obsess over things one does not -- and perhaps cannot -- have.

And so guys are attracted to boobs like moths to open flame. And pretty much any boobs will do, really. All shapes and sizes have their own fan-base. Just as long as they are in their prime state and relatively youthful. I mean, let's be honest here, age and gravity aren't very kind to boobs, and only a generous sum of money has any fighting chance against their effects.

Oh, and them boobs better be female. Man boobs don't count, and are automatically disqualified due to the basic reason that men aren't supposed to have boobs. Things that we have are by rule deemed not attractive and not worth pursuing anymore. With the exception of power, money and women, of course.

Back to the topics at hand -- or at least there's where we all wish them to be -- that's why we came out with so many boobs-related activities and thingies. Like Hooters, for one. And wet t-shirt contests. And trading beads for flashing. And silicone implants. And w*nderbras, especially G*d's Hand. And lots of other things I better leave out lest I implicate myself unfavorably later.

Funny thing is, guys aren't the only ones obsessed with boobs. Maybe we have successfully shared our collective fascination towards boobs to the whole civilization. Or perhaps women are just wired with such a strong sense of competition to come out with boob-envy on their own. Whatever it is, we're definitely enjoying the show...  B-)

So here's to boobs and the freedom to flaunt 'em. Be that by wearing bra with showcasing features, or even going in the opposite direction by being braless. And fear not girls, us guys will all be on hand to provide any support that the missing bra left off.  ;)


Gotta catch 'em all!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Life lessons, part 3


Nearing the end of last year, the whole extended family and I were spending the Christmas weekend in Kuningan, visiting my father in law's (now late) mother and her family. But since there's no train going directly to Kuningan, we took the train to Cirebon first before continuing with rental cars.

That was not our first Kuningan trip, and before, we chose to go driving all the way. But that weekend, the prospect of driving seemed tiring and we're not about to take our chances against the traffic, so we took the train.

And the followings were some of the things that I've learned on board of the Cirebon Express, on our way towards, well, Cirebon of course. Nothing overly deep or serious, but still noteworthy to me. To start it off:

  • You can easily make friends with strangers aboard the train. Especially if you're traveling solo. And there's another solo traveler in the same carriage. And the seat next to each other is empty. And preferably if the two solo travelers are of different genders. But please try to make sure the two of you are of the same species to avoid unwanted conflict(s).
  • There's something intrinsically pleasing and appetizing about eating nasi rendang bungkus in the train. It felt like a special picnic of a sort, 'coz you're outdoor and yet indoor, sitting still and yet traveling at over 80kmph, all at the same time. Only the unfortunate biting of a clove stalk stopped me from demolishing a third serving. And although I prefer my cigarettes to be kretek, turned out I don't care much for kretek rendang.
  • When you offered help to others without any hidden agenda, sometimes your sincerity ended up being questioned. In the train, I saw a somewhat attractive Cici with 3 smaller siblings -- or perhaps children -- having trouble turning the seats, and so I came over and turned the seats around for them, after which I saw a strange expression on her face that seemed to question my motive(s). What, can't a guy act gentlemanly nowadays? So much for my face being the epitome of kindness and decency. Meh.
  • Newer is not always better. The Cirebon Train Station, for example. It's now revamped with underpass and everything, but when we reached there and got greeted by a royal thunderstorm, the whole renovation felt next to useless. The roof was leaking here and there for f's sake. Try to picture a half decent underpass, and then try to logically connect that to a leaky and flooded train station. Fail.
  • Last but not least, isat 3G is a rare creature in Kuningan. Oh well...

Thursday, May 10, 2012

'Coz we gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith...


There was this one time when my bro and I got into a friendly debate about the existence of God and religion, or maybe the absence of one.

As an agnostic, my bro doesn't believe in God from any specific religion, but believes in karma instead.

So there were some very solid arguments presented in our banter; among them was that if there is truly a God -- who is omnipotent and omniscient -- and if anything and everything only happen with his prior knowledge and according to his will, then it's kinda unfair for Him to be pissed and rain us down with shit if we do bad things that are not in compliance to His terms and conditions, right? Because He knows beforehand that we're gonna do it, right? And He wills it, or allows it to happen, right? Then why punish us for it? If He doesn't want it to happen, He can simply make it so and it'll never would've happened, right?

All I could say in return was that the gift of free will is a luxury not afforded to any other creatures in creation. With it, we are given choices, to be good or to be naughty. Choosing good despite all the available temptations will guarantee you to be in His good side, with an eternal good life in heaven as your reward. And even if we choose naughty, there are plenty of chances to repent and ask for forgiveness before we leave this mortal plane. And if we time the repentance just right, we can theoretically be naughty all our lives and still go to heaven. Sweet!

What about the shit rains and punishments, you might ask? Well, those are just His way of testing us whether we're still cool with Him even if we got crap luck throughout life. If we are, we'll be dining in Heaven in the eternal afterlife, which I don't need to remind you is waaaaay longer than the average human lifespan. Suffer 70 years and be gloriously happy for eternity is still a good deal to me.

On the other hand, we have the school of karma. No God here to govern things, just the give and take karma 'balance' arrangement. So you do good, you get good in return, and if you do bad, you get shit thrown at you. My problem with this system is that even bad intentions count as bad deeds. So you might be daydreaming and somehow idly think about being naughty, and suddenly you're neck deep in shit. And that's before you even carry out the deed. Imagine what could happen if you actually go through with it. For me, this ain't exactly fair balance, because I never see people swamped with good things just by thinking of doing good and not really doing any.

Plus, there's the reincarnation. Afterlife made tangible.

If you do really good in this life, you get to live really well in your after -- or perhaps we should say next -- life. By that logic, those filthy rich corrupt officials must have been really really good in their previous incarnation, and that's why they get to enjoy this life with the privilege of throwing crap on others. What bothers me is if they were really good before, how in fuck's name they got to be so messed up now? Where did all those goodness disappear to? And how come when the rest can get buried in crap just for thinking bad stuffs, these guys get off scot free for actually doing bad stuffs? How much are they paying karma to look the other way?

And in the karmic rule, if you fail miserably in this life, you have to redo it in the next, and more often than not as a lower level creature. So if you are consistent enough in failing, you can actually start out as a leader of men and end up as a butt-worm after several reincarnations or so.

Given the available choices, I'll take my only-shot now-or-never do-or-die one incarnation under God. At least I know I won't have to repeat indefinitely, and might just got lucky enough to end up in Heaven after a successful repentance... And I seriously don't want to end up as a butt-worm.  :D

But I got this nagging feeling that for questioning and writing all these, I will have to spend some time purging myself in hell...  x_x

Thursday, May 3, 2012

No keys, no secrets, no shortcuts, simply...



Some times ago, I read a blog post that can be summarized with: happiness starts from yourself.

And I couldn't have agreed more.

Although I haven't been preaching it, I try to live by it. Just like the legen...wait for it...dary Barney Stinson said in this picture:


And it is true. In most cases, you and you alone get to determine whether you're going to be awesome and happy, or sad and miserable. It's about acceptance, and making peace with who you are, with all your quirks and imperfections that somehow make you unique, and whole, and awesome. Of course, being able to accept material things to console you won't hurt. But the tricky part is, you're not supposed to put too much effort on attaining it, because happiness is a by-product, not an end result.

That said, there are lots of things that can make one happy. A warm gun, perhaps, as said by The Beatles. Or finding something you thought you've lost. Knowing that you're loved. Being together. Being alone every now and then. It can be anything and anywhere, really. And you can even buy it, even if only for awhile.

Trust me, those who say that you can't buy happiness don't know where to shop. Or where the good joints are.  :D

Anyway, one of the best quote on happiness in my personal opinion -- you are free to disagree of course -- is this: Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. And guess what, at its root lies acceptance. If you can want, or at the least like and accept everything you're given in life as good things -- including your awesome quirks -- and use them to their fullest potential, then you're great to go.

For closing, how about a quote from my favorite sayings about happiness? And before you start protesting, the best doesn't have to mean it's going to be the favorite, ok? So here it is, my favorite: Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth...

No flushing necessary.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A navigator's view


There are few things in life quite as heartrending as seeing someone you care about laughing, and knowing that the laughs are replacements for tears.

Especially so if you're sitting in the navigator seat, and all you could do is watch. Because it's not in your rights to wrench the steering wheel away from the driver and drive towards the beautiful sunset.

That decision has to be in the hands of the driver.

So all you could do is offer companionship, and perhaps an advice or two, and let the driver run the course, praying under your breath that the car won't crash and be irreparably damaged.

Finger-crossed.